Sunday, April 25, 2010

poop.

I can’t think of a better word to describe my night. It’s been one of those nights where I stop and think, “Really? This is what my life is about now? I work 42 hours a week and come home to clean up poop?”

To start with, Matt is on call.  As in, went to the hospital at 5 this morning and will hopefully get off by noon tomorrow. Yeah, those doctors, they’ve got it easy, right? Well, that leaves me here to take care of the kiddo by myself. No big deal on a normal night. This was not a normal night.

I had just put Zane in his bath and was changing into my ‘comfy clothes’. That’s when it began. The ill-timed bathtub bowel movement. Ugh. It has happened once before, but Matt was here to help. I grab Z up out of the tub and set him on the toilet. Nothin. I get him down and start scooping the ‘foreign objects’ out with a cup and dumping (no pun intended) them into the toilet.

Guess who wasn’t finished? Far from it. I look over and he’s pooping in the bathroom floor and trying to climb into the cabinet all at the same time. My little multi-tasker.  Back to the toilet and he successfully makes his first deposit in the ole porcelain bank. I “clean” him up, start cleaning up the tub/floor/toilet, look over and he’s now pooped on the bath mat AND in the shower. Lovely.

His next pooping destination appears to be my closet. I intervene and slam the closet door shut…….ON MY POOR LITTLE POOPY HEAD’S FINGER!

Oh.My.Word. Obviously he’s screaming his head off, I’m overwhelmed with guilt, and scoop him up to console him. And now I have poop on my shirt. Lovely. I feel so glamorous. Can this night get any worse? Never ask that question because you won’t like the answer, right?

I find the splattered dog diarrhea in the hallway floor as we’re headed to Zane’s room to put on his pjs.

Poop, poop, and more poop. Have I mentioned how glamorous I feel?

In hind sight, I shouldn’t have let his little naked butt run around the bathroom. Should I have let him stay in the tub til he finished? Took him out and put a diaper on him? I don’t know…..I’m just trying to figure these things out as I go.

I even stopped in the chaos and took a picture of the poop in the floor with my phone and texted it to Matt and our moms. Didn’t want anyone to feel left out. I decided not to post it here. Consider this your lucky day. Maybe I’ll threaten him with it one day when he’s 16 and wants to bring an ole stinky, silly girl to my house.

Instead, here are some pictures of my sweet little boy before church. He’s holding a stick. Always. He loves to be outside and to play with sticks.

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8 comments:

Faith said...

You are SO not alone... I guess boys are worse about that than girls... We have had it in both tubs at once. sorry you had such a rough night:(

Stephanie Wood Smith said...

OMG. That's all I have to say....

Whitney said...

Love, love, love it! You should seriously write a book. Maybe you and Hannah Fulks together 'cause you're both stinkin' (no pun intended! ha!) hilarious. It would totally be better than any of Jenny McCarthy's preggo/baby books...and those are pretty funny. Love you and that sweet boy. See you later this week for our "fitting."

amywelborn said...

Ahhh, the joys of motherhood...I seriously feel ya girl. One time I got Maddox completely undressed for bathtime. I had to run downstairs for ONE SECOND. When I came back up he had pooped in the floor and was EATING IT!!!!!!!!! I freaked out and he would not spit it out. I was gagging like crazy and thought I was going to puke right on him!!!! Ugh!!!
And as for what you should have done, I have no idea...I would have reacted the same way. Guess that is how we learn....hope things are easier for you this week:)

Allyson Petty said...

I am laughing out loud right now.

Rachel said...

oh my word...i don't even know what to say...sorry it was so rough but so funny for those of us reading about it!! thanks for the laugh sarah!!! :) hope it NEVER happens again though!!!

Jordan said...

Ha! This is great (probably not for you at the moment, though) :) You'll look back and smile at these days, right? I'm counting my blessings that neither one of mine has pooped in the tub yet. I'm sure William's just saving one up for when they're in the tub together!

Amanda said...

Ah poop, can't wait to add baby poop to the mix. It is like Murphy's law I swear, we'll be fine for weeks then one day there'll be a combo of pee/puke/poop from the dogs and cats that makes me want to take them all to the pound! Happy Mother's Day:)